The End that Leads to a New Begining (or so they tell me...)

HI GUYS :) How ya goin? Long time no see eh? Just in case you forgot my face.....haha

As some of you know, and as some of you don't, I'm graduating High School in two weeks. In two short weeks....everything that most people my age have made their long term goal will come to an end. I have mixed feelings about this. Part of me wants to stay because it is easy, it's routine. And I seem to be needing routine in my life right now. Part of me is scared for what comes next. I know that I have to work for a while then I'll go to school for awhile and work work some more, go back to school...so on and so forth. But there is so much that is unknown. My mother tells me that I worry to much. I'm beginning to believe her. I worry that I'll somehow fail at college, somehow this very interesting person that I've become will manage to find a way to be a loner. It's funny how fast the confidence you gain on Exchange withers into a small thing cowering in the corner. Either that or I'll go spiraling down again. And I've just started to spiral upwards, slowly but surely I am finding my way out of what was a very dark place. Now would not be the time to turn back.

The thought that I have to leave a place where I've finally found a notch that I never felt existed, scares me. I don't like this pattern that I see being developed. I get comfortable....then I have to go somewhere else. The next year or so will be a series of brief starts and stops. High School for three months, work for 6 weeks, College here in Durango for 5 months, summer break and then I could quite possibly be moving to the other side of the country to start at yet another new school. To me, that is unsettling. Change is something that scares most people, even the strong willed ones. I suppose part of me is okay with that. I'm ready for something new. But as most people would be, I'm scared of what 'new' means. Of the new challenges it will present. I want to be that person that finds a thrill and excitement in this, but right now I just want stability. But as Australia itself taught me, sometimes you just have to roll with the punches.

As a Senior, I have to put together a portfolio containing all of my best works, the things I learned from high school and plans of what I hope to do with the rest of my life. I have to present it to my home group, roughly 20 kids of the 500 in my class, my homegroup teacher and my school counsellor. Here are some of my thoughts.......

The past four years of my life have been interesting to say the least. To start off with, they’ve been long. Freshman year seems so far off…. a distant place where I didn’t know what was coming next. Part of that might be because I’ve done so much in the last four years, as most of us have. It’s like we’re put on super-speed and asked to do a million things at once. Another part is that I’ve changed so much sense then. And that’s what most people claim, you grow up by the time your senior year rolls around. But, I really have grown up. That’s what a year abroad does to you; it forces you to become an ‘adult’ at the age of 17. And as a kid, Peter Pan was always my favorite Disney Character…..I never wanted to grow up, there are days when I wish that I hadn’t grown up. But at the same time I realize how lucky I am to know what I do at such a young age…..I’m not talking about trigonometry or biology class….I’m talking about life. High School taught me the basics, two squared is eight, atoms make up EVERYTHING, the US won independence in 1776 and 3.14 equals pie…but so does some apple filling and a golden crust. But Australia taught me about life. And that’s what I want to take away from all of this, lessons about life.

I have been inspired to do things I’d never have even considered before I left, I want to join the Peace Corps and save to world. My involvement in the Interact club here at the High School is leading me in the right direction, in March we are going to spend a week in Jamaica doing humanitarian work. This is something that I would not have taken the slightest bit of interest in prior to my exchange. My new found worldly opinions and incredibly broadminded view of things has opened my mind up to a million possibilities. I will be starting college in January with the intention of majoring in International Studies and Journalism. Two topics that, once again, I had no interest in before my exchange. Rotary Youth Exchange taught me that the world is a small place and that every act counts. Every nice thing that you do for a stranger makes a difference in the world. Every horrible thing that happens because of War or poverty, affects a family somewhere. And every day is a new opportunity to make a difference, to impact someone’s life, to let someone impact yours and to be an inspiration. The world is a fascinating place, full of new discoveries and thrilling adventures. Life is an adventure, full of challenges, uncertainties, ups, downs, sticky situations and blind curves. And we just have to do our best to control what can be controlled, and flow with the things that can’t. We have to learn how to move forward but not forget. And we must learn to live with no regrets, speak our minds, learn from our mistakes and follow our dreams, because the sky is the limit. These are things that I could never have learnt in high school, though I do have to credit it with being the reason I had the opportunity of going on an Exchange. I look back on my experience here as a student and consider it a mechanism, as tool that aided me to get to a place that allowed me to be where I am today, that place led me to learn what I did. It is a tool that I am now ready to leave behind, one that has been used to its fullest extent and can now sit peacefully in its box on the bottom shelf. However, I do have one last thing to say before I leave it behind for good, and that’s Thank You.

Thank you Durango High School, thank you Rotary and Rotarians alike, thank you Mum (Karen, Dia, Marilyn and Meredith), thank you Dad (Andrew, John, Andy and James), thank you to all my bothers and sisters (Jacqulyn, Duncan, Dylan, Ryan, Claudia, Nicola, Fran, Hayley and Autumn) and thank you Australia (yes the actual country) for you are forever a part of me.

Love, Hugs and Kisses

Ariel